Steal The Bacon, By Aaron Pike

“My bacon has been stolen,” cried an elderly citizen. Egregiously, Aaron stumbled into shady shoals retirement home. “Where did the suspect run?” said Aaron. That way, cried the lady. Aaron jumped onto his big wheel flying at a mere 4.5 mph; he was bound to catch the crook. Two and a half hours later he had arrived at where he thought the criminal was. A passing bystander named Earl asked Aaron how he came to his conclusion. “Why I came to my conclusion based on the fact that the criminal had left a trail of red paint. Probably trying to cover his tracks. Other than that the building says THIS IS THE CRIMINALS HOUSE DO NOT ENTER!!!!” Moaned Aaron. Carving his way through the solid shoes Finally he had reached the center, climbing through he noticed the words mmm, Fitzgerald, Oh snap!

Boing! Aaron reached the bottom only to discover a door on the side of a huge wall in the middle of a room. In front of him he found a note. to get the bacon you must first tackle these anteaters.

This message was provided by a free advertiser goopsoup. Ha Aaron said to himself Anteaters how hard could this be. Of course whenever someone in a book says, “ how hard could this be” it’s always very complex. Thud! Squiggle! Sploosh! Gasp! Said Aaron “Granny please be with me”.

Rahhhhhhhhh! Crush! An anteater wielding a block of cheese came rushing towards Aaron. “I didn’t fail preschool and community college for this” Aaron pulled out a hot glue gun from his sock and plugged it into a nearby outlet for about 10 mins. After ten minutes of both the anteater and Aaron waiting they plunged into a full on fight hot glue one way and molten cheese the other.

After contemplating they both came to an agreement and the anteater gave Aaron the key to the door and in return Aaron gave the anteater his hot glue gun. They said their goodbyes and Aaron continued on his journey for the bacon.

STAGE 2 a booming voice said out of nowhere scaring the crap out of Aaron. “Who said that?” exclaimed Aaron. Getting no reply he shrugged that off. “I think its time for a peanut butter and corn sandwich.” Said Aaron, Drooling over his sandwich. After about one bite he was thrown off his chair by a midget. “ Gimme that” said the midget. Throwing the sandwich across the room he began to kick Aaron in the leg. Aaron grabbed the midget by the leg and swung him into a bench. “Raggh” said the tiny man. The little one grabbed a switchblade and started to wave it in his face Aaron preceded to roundhouse kick him into the wooden barrier the stupid midget was finally shut up.

“Hahaha you’ve found me Aaron” Said the criminal. Give me the bacon or you go! Snorted Aaron still laughing about the midget. This time the guy was mad for His bacon, he pulled out a firkin 12 gauge and pointed it at Aaron’s head. Now please go and remove the memory of my webkinz passwords that you saw on the wall. “Not without that bacon strip, criminal dude” said Aaron as he knocked the shotgun out of his way. Kicking and slapping the man till all except mercy was left in him Aaron hopped back onto his big wheel and returned the bacon.

“My hero!” said the elderly civilian. All in a days work ma’m “Come here precious,” said the old lady. As she left a big kiss on his cheek. “ Ahh Granny smooches!” shrieked Aaron.

The End