Friday, April 10, 2009

Steal The Bacon, By Aaron Pike


“My bacon has been stolen,” cried an elderly citizen. Egregiously, Aaron stumbled into shady shoals retirement home. “Where did the suspect run?” said Aaron. That way, cried the lady. Aaron jumped onto his big wheel flying at a mere 4.5 mph; he was bound to catch the crook. Two and a half hours later he had arrived at where he thought the criminal was. A passing bystander named Earl asked Aaron how he came to his conclusion. “Why I came to my conclusion based on the fact that the criminal had left a trail of red paint. Probably trying to cover his tracks. Other than that the building says THIS IS THE CRIMINALS HOUSE DO NOT ENTER!!!!” Moaned Aaron. Carving his way through the solid shoes Finally he had reached the center, climbing through he noticed the words mmm, Fitzgerald, Oh snap!

Boing! Aaron reached the bottom only to discover a door on the side of a huge wall in the middle of a room. In front of him he found a note. to get the bacon you must first tackle these anteaters.

This message was provided by a free advertiser goopsoup. Ha Aaron said to himself Anteaters how hard could this be. Of course whenever someone in a book says, “ how hard could this be” it’s always very complex. Thud! Squiggle! Sploosh! Gasp! Said Aaron “Granny please be with me”.

Rahhhhhhhhh! Crush! An anteater wielding a block of cheese came rushing towards Aaron. “I didn’t fail preschool and community college for this” Aaron pulled out a hot glue gun from his sock and plugged it into a nearby outlet for about 10 mins. After ten minutes of both the anteater and Aaron waiting they plunged into a full on fight hot glue one way and molten cheese the other.

After contemplating they both came to an agreement and the anteater gave Aaron the key to the door and in return Aaron gave the anteater his hot glue gun. They said their goodbyes and Aaron continued on his journey for the bacon.

STAGE 2 a booming voice said out of nowhere scaring the crap out of Aaron. “Who said that?” exclaimed Aaron. Getting no reply he shrugged that off. “I think its time for a peanut butter and corn sandwich.” Said Aaron, Drooling over his sandwich. After about one bite he was thrown off his chair by a midget. “ Gimme that” said the midget. Throwing the sandwich across the room he began to kick Aaron in the leg. Aaron grabbed the midget by the leg and swung him into a bench. “Raggh” said the tiny man. The little one grabbed a switchblade and started to wave it in his face Aaron preceded to roundhouse kick him into the wooden barrier the stupid midget was finally shut up.

“Hahaha you’ve found me Aaron” Said the criminal. Give me the bacon or you go! Snorted Aaron still laughing about the midget. This time the guy was mad for His bacon, he pulled out a firkin 12 gauge and pointed it at Aaron’s head. Now please go and remove the memory of my webkinz passwords that you saw on the wall. “Not without that bacon strip, criminal dude” said Aaron as he knocked the shotgun out of his way. Kicking and slapping the man till all except mercy was left in him Aaron hopped back onto his big wheel and returned the bacon.

“My hero!” said the elderly civilian. All in a days work ma’m “Come here precious,” said the old lady. As she left a big kiss on his cheek. “ Ahh Granny smooches!” shrieked Aaron.

The End

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Because of such large amount of views...

Things to do when your bored. From A to W if you find any that start with x, y, or z post a comment.

A
Act like a spy / secret agent for the day
Act like you just met your friend for the first time
Act profound
Ad lib
Add some strawberries to your ice cream
B
Balance your checkbook
Bark at people in the grocery store
Bark at your dog
Bark at your parents
Be a leaf and leave
C
Clean your room.
Chew on pen caps
Chew on your arm until someone notices.
Chew your lip
Churn some butter.
Claim you are late for a date with the white rabbit
Chew on pen caps
Chew on your arm until someone notices.
Chew your lip
Churn some butter.
Claim you are late for a date with the white rabbit
D
Do aerobics...in your head
Do crossword puzzles
Do everything with your other hand today
Do some paperwork
Do the hokey-pokey at 3 am
Do the magician “saw a box trick” with your sister/brother
Donate your brother’s/sister's body to science
Dont ever use punctuation its rather annoying isnt it
Doodle or cartoon
Dot people’s i’s for them


E
Eat broccoli and pretend to be a dinosaur eating trees
Embarrass yourself
Even the score
Every time you say the word definitely, spell it out
F
Factor your social security number
Faint
Fake an accent
Fall asleep
Fidget
Figure out how to get yourself on TV
Find a bug and chase it
Find an address to your favorite famous person and write them a letter. See if they write you back.
G
Get angry with yourself
Get bubblegum stuck in your hair and try to get it out
Get caught red-handed
Get on the radio
Get run over by a train of thought
Get your dog braces
Get yourself as nauseated as possible, like by spinning around and looking straight up.
Give names to your body parts
Give your cat a mohawk
Give to charity
H
Have a carpet picnic
Have a staring contest with yourself in the mirror.
Have a water drinking contest
Have an egg toss
Have people follow you with red carpet everywhere
Help an old lady cross the street
Hide
Hire people to wait on you
Hit some hay
Hit the deck
I
Ignore anyone who talks to you
Inflate a beachball and throw it around the room.
J
Join a fan club
Join the debate team and agree with everyone
Juggle everything you can find
Jump up and down
Just hop up
K
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
Knight yourself and some close friends.
Knit a sweater
L
Learn to let go
Learn to peel a banana with your feet
Learn to play the kazoo
Learn to read Sanskrit
Learn to square dance
Learn to surf
Learn to throw your voice
Learn to type...with your toes
Learn to whistle 14.4/28.8 bps modem sounds
M
make a blog
Make a deal with the devil, but keep your fingers crossed
Make a list of things to do when bored.
Make a list of things you want
Make a rubber band ball
Make a sundial
Make a trash can a basketball hoop and throw crumpled up paper for baskets
Make an entertaining phone answering-machine message

N
Never say never I never will again
Figure out another thing to do that starts with N
O
Open a box of Animal Crackers and make an animal farm
Open everything
Out of nowhere, or when it is quiet, say loud

P
Paint with your toes
Paint zebra stripes on your computer
Patch some clothing
Pay for expensive things with pennies
Peel grapes
Phone your local government rep and see if you can convince him or her to have lunch with you
Pick a random person and worship them
Pick other people’s noses
Pick the fuzz balls off hotel blankets

Play solitaire
Play songs backwards and listen for satanic messagesListen to a painting
Play tag
Play tiddly winks
Play to lose
Play video games
Play with marbles
Play with some LEGOS
Plead the fifth
Plot revenge against someone.
Plot the overthrow of your local school board
Pop zits and blackheads, clean lint out of belly button, q-tips, and find those hidden treasures of the nose
Post Post-It© Notes all over your house

Q
Figure out something to do with a q
R
Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster
Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God
Redecorate your garage
Relive fond memories
Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning - Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

S
See how long you can hold your breath
See how long you can sleep
See how long you can stay awake
Send chills down your spine
See how long you can hold your breath
See how long you can sleep
See how long you can stay awake
See how many hugs you can get in one day
See how many licks it actually takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.


T
Tapdance.
Take a class on self defense
Take a week of vacation from work to just sit at home and watch tons of movies
Take an IQ Test
Take money out of the bank and spend it all on yourself
Take pictures of interesting things that you see all day.
Take the fifth.
Take your cat to the restroom with you
Take your hamster to the beach

U
Use the word stuff as much as possible
Use your secret mind power - Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.

V
Vacation at Three-Mile Island
Vacuum your lawn
Volunteer for a charity

W
Walk around as a body guard for a day for one of your friends
Walk around the room begging for spare change.
Walk extra fast all day
Wash behind your ears
Wash your car
Washable crayons are a wonderful invention. Pick a wall and invite friends.
Watch 101 Dalmatians and see if they really show 101 Dalmatians.

X
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Y
???
Z
???



Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Blog updates!

You will notice a few new things as you arrive on my blog.
1. I have a new subscriber!
2. i have added more gadgets as in, my bidvertiser button and the titled Hey you! referral button for chitka both 2 really good advertising programs.
3.I have added a graffiti title for my website.
4. And lastly i changed the background from dumb ol white to a grayish black.